Friday, April 27, 2012

[ the best of pinterest: doggie edition ]

I cannot stop obsessing over getting a dog and it's getting kind of inconvenient.
because I CAN'T HAVE A DOG.
I mean, I can... but I am a broke recent grad working a temp job and barely making minimum wage.
So, I can't have a dog... at least for now.

I spent half my work day today looking at dogs on pinterest.

I present you: 
The Best of Pinterest: Doggie Edition

You've seen the 'Underwater Dogs' photo series, right? 
I cannot believe someone hadn't thought of doing this sooner.

The odds of me actually getting a puppy are slim to none. Once I am able to get a dog, I will absolutely be adopting and am so excited to have a little mixed breed mutt dog :) Until then, puppy pinterest photos will suffice

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

[ office space ]

A few little email excerpts from a new employee at my work.

Me: "Are you going to be using extension 3513 or extension 2052?"
Him: "Gonna use 3515 for now. Would u happen to know what ext she was at?"

Me: "Not a problem. Feel free to ask questions!"
Him: "Fo sho. Thanks. -J" (just his first intial)

Me: "I tried calling you, but you were on the phone. He is here now."
Him: "Ooo... hes meeting with Mike so it shood be koo?? Haha..i don't think I needa see him. Thanks."

Him: "That was a super awkward end to a phone call earlier. Lols"
Me: "I had too much going on up here to notice."
Him: "-______- wordword. Haha"

Him: (email subject) Guy chillen up there

Please, somebody, help me understand why or how this person was able to secure a job somewhere other than McDonalds? He is in HR... I swear someone must be fucking with me.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

[ ten things tuesday ]

1. kim kardashian was seen wearing 'kw' earrings. is this a joke? for one, kanye west is the biggest douche in this entire country. and two, what would ever compel you to wear your boyfriend's (using this term loosely) initials... on your ears. i wish, just for one day, she could at least pretend she didn't need everyone's attention to function.

2. i don't know how to run. still. i have had alignment issues with my hips and knees for years, and i am pretty sure this will just not allow me to run, ever. i tried! i promise i did. and then my knees and hips were throbbing for days. not the good kind of pain, either. harumph.

(except i both feel AND look like the latter)

3. i got a library card, and i cannot stop telling everyone about it. free books!

4. birchbox is such a bitch. my box shipped 13 days ago. and it's still not here. it sat in bell gardens, ca for five days. what is wrong with our postal service?

5. bill and guiliana are having a baby, and i cannot even handle my excitement after hearing this news! i llluuvvv those two. i was a little bummed that we wouldn't actually get to see guiliana with a belly, but am so thrilled for them to be able to have a bebe, even if by gestational carrier.

6. the job search sucks. i am for sure going to end up on the streets.

7. i nearly bought 6 of the exact same t-shirts in different colors, just to avoid paying shipping costs. again, i am going to end up on the streets. but at least i would have clothes to wear.

8. i keep watching the videos of the tupac hologram at coachella. it is so creepy and incredible, all at the same time. i would kill to have been there. ohhhmyyygooosshhhh. i know so many people who were there and said it was just incredible. technology is so fucking cool.

9. lindsey lohan has officially been cast as elizabeth taylor in an upcoming biopic. loooovvee.

10. does anyone remember jenny jones? i used to feel like such a badass when i'd stay home sick from school and watch every single dramatic day time talk show there was. mackdaddy makeovers = quality tv.

Monday, April 23, 2012

[ oh my! monday ]

oh, adam brody. 
he is my absolute dream.
i cannot even handle how perfect this man is.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

[ ten things tuesday ]

1.Elisabetta Canalis is dating Steve-O. Uhm, WHAT? She was previously doing the dirty with GEORGE CLOONEY. and now she's dating STEVE-O. There is not one thing that is okay about that whole situation. I am so sad for her.

2. I need clothes. All of my clothes are boarderline inappropriate to pretty much wear anywhere. Half the days I am in some patato sack sized sweater and military boots, and the other half I might as well be naked because I am wearing that little of clothing. Okay, so it's not quite that bad. But seriously, I need to learn how to dress appropriately for work, without having to wear the same thing every single day. I am certain my coworkers think I have zero sense of fashion, but it's only because my sense of fashion is slightly homeless/80s thrift store... none of which I can wear to work.

3. My room is so sad. I am too poor to buy anything to decorate with, so I have stark white walls with nothing on them. I am doing everything I can to keep myself from decorating with magazine ads. Cause really, I only stopped doing that like 6 months ago.

4. I nearly died when I heard the rumors that Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth were engaged. I live and die for Miley Cyrus. She is slightly annoying and thinks she's 5 years older than she is, but I still dream of being best friends with her. I also think that Liam Hemsworth is one of the sexiest men, ever. Seriously, those two are perfect. But, they cannot get married. I just can't deal with them being stuck together for like 10 minutes and then divorcing or something. SO I was  relieved to find out they were not engaged. Of COURSE it's not an engagement ring, people, DUH. I always wear huge rocks on my left ring finger and take pictures of my hand and totally disregard the fact that I am wearing a rock when I post the picture to twitter. Girlfriend can't be tamed!

5. I still can't handle caffeine. I drink coffee on the daily, and by 10 am I am jittery and having heart palpitations and losing my mind. WHY can I not just drink it at a normal pace like a normal person and not freak out.

6. In other coffee news, my friend Ryan found a bunch of old Starbucks giftcards he's accumulated and didn't ever plan on using, so he gave them to me. I feel like I won the lottery. I have like $80 in Starbucks giftcards.

7. I got to read gossip magazines at work last week. It was my assignment. Seriously. Gosh, I work so hard.

8. I have been inspired to learn how to run, because everyone here RUNS. I am never going to be a marathoner. Or even a half marathoner. But I would like to run a 5k someday and not die... so I decided to run 1 mile today at the gym on the treadmill. Running is seriously no joke. I am so embarassed by how terrible of a runner I am. It took me 12 minutes to run a mile. and I thought I was going to puke afterwards.

9. Perez Hilton's face is frightening. He is so skinny. Remember when he used to be fat?

10. I got an invite to a wedding in May. Fuck. Yes. More on this later.